Morning world :)

Hey hey! So this morning i'm so full of energy and kinda missin the whole preprego side of life, cuz i feel like runnin!!! If i were still in np and on the fire dept i could go work out and maybe even go on a few calls. I nice grass fire acutlly sounds like fun today. lol but insted looks like the mom-in-law and i are goin shoppin with is always fun. so i guess i'll talk at yall l8er mwa mwa <3 Rhonda Rae

My monday

Well today was a good day all in all. I got up worked on the house played with my robby roo and watched last nights final of big brother. Adam won :( i was so goin for ryan. I found a car its a 2000 ford tarus its a really pretty light blue with lil sparkel specks lol i love it and should haev it next week. well im goin to go do the whole bed time riturel (hot bath, read a lil bible and start the dish washer) I had to cut out the cup of hot tea becuz i can not drink tea or milk for an hour before i take my pills and 2 hours after. well love yall nite nite

today

well today was a pretty good day the meds the doc gave me are workin wounders ive had so much energy. I mean i woke up really early and cooked b4 church even. Insane huh idk the last time i did that lol. I feel amazing just thought i'd let u no. Oh and im not as down as i was last night church really helped with that as it often does

missin my bff

Idk what it is about today but i'm really missin Elaine maybe its the weather and all the days like today we spent fishin and walkn in the woods or other things that were so much fun when we were doin them together. we were best friends for over 10 years and for the last 8 months she has not even cared to check and see if i was alive. I just wish i could call her and tell her i'm srry for what ever i did to make her h8 me so much. I miss my bff i just want to sitt up l8 talkin about were we were years ago and were we want to be in 5 years. Idk if anyone understud how hard planin my weddin was just becuz i'd worked on planin all that with her since we were 8. The fact that she wont talk to me is y i had no bridesmaids cuz no1 would do. so if any of u see her tell her i'm srry and i miss her and "love her blue"

a lil depressed i wont lie

do u remember when this was not our war. it belonged 2 the grown ups we nvr once thought it would last so long we didnt care cuz football was more fun when we would lay down at nite
our biggest concernwas that test or who might be talkin smack now look at us when i close my eyes i pray so hard for you that god would keep you and you will be safe till this year is over and i can see your face i ask him why, why must you be in such a place. in my dreams i see the bombs and here the screams and to me they are all you. Every story on the war brings the tears becuz i no your in the middel of it all. How everyone eles is copeing i have no clue are they all like me they pretend to be okay but deep down they cry. for 6 years you have been right here you know my dreams hopes and fears you have wiped away so many tears but now your a world away where there is death hate decay your bein a hero fightin for what you belive but still i cry what if you dont make it back what if my son never gets to see his god father again what if i lose my bestest who will i turn to when its one of those thing or when the past starts to catch up with me. Your the only person who knows it all and who was there for me i need you. I dont want u in iraq i hate it i hate not knowin i hate the fear i hate the dreams and i hate the truth. so when this year is over ill hugg you and be glad to have my best friend my brother back.