•Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend

my dearest adrian,
  Darling you are my most fav net friend ever. Over the last year you have been there for me though so much. We had our ups and downs like any friends. There have been times Ive cried over you and ones where i wanted to get on a plane fly over there and just kick you in the face lol. Ive gotten to know you better then most of my friends here. I even know your mother and i love her to death to. You mean the world to me. I love you darl.

•Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush

Dear alex,
 you were the first for me with so many things. I am srry that you have not moved on fully but finely I have. If you always wanted me you should have thought about that before you broke up with me 6 years ago. I hope you find everything you are looking for in your life.

•Day 6 — A stranger

dear randoms,
I spent most of my life trying to make you all think everything was fine and dandy. I wanted it to look like I had the perfect life. Now I dont care. You can judge me all you want and i dont care you have the right to think what you want and i have the right to say oh well and ignore you. This is my life and im gonna live it for me and not any1 but me.

Day 5 — Your dreams

dear dreams, I love the things you show me most of the time. But l8ly you have been scaring the crap outta me can you please go back to the good ones thanks

•Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)

So im gonna write to my baby boys.

   My darling loves,
I want you to know I love you more then anything. I only want whats best for you. I know that you will have doubts and worries over the years of your life but I nvr want it to be about mine or your fathers love for you. We love you very much, but we just could not get along. Our spliting had nothing to do with you boys what so ever. I never want you to think its cuz you did something wrong or becuz we did not love you. I know I am living so far away right now and i dont get to see you as often as we would like, but sometimes things like that happen in life. It makes it all the more special when we do get to see each other. Im so proud of how well you boys are growing up. You are all so smart It amazes me. truly you are the gr8est gifts i ever got.  I will nvr regret having you guys. Somedays you are all that keeps me going. I want you to know one day Ill be able to provide for you better and you will get the chance to come be with me. Always work hard, do the right thing, keep your head up, and have each others backs.

•Day 3 — Your parents

for this one im writing to my father and stepmother.

  dear mom and dad,
I'm sorry i have not lived up to your standards. I know i disappoint you day after day. But you need to understand that I am living my life not yours. I know you wanted so much more for and from me, but i am making myself happy. Every time Ive tried to do what would make you happy i have not only failed but made myself miserable. I am not my sister I nvr was as pretty or as smart as her. I wish you wouldn't compare me to her so much. It really hurts when you make comments about how proud you are of at lest one of your daughters. Dad a couple thanksgivings ago you went as far as to make a comment about how at least one of us gurls was goin some where in life and not a day goes by where i dont think of this statement and want to cry. I did so much to try and please you. You also did so much damage to me though the years that I still deal with. I remember as a child you would tell me things like "your fat no man will ever want you" "you are completely useless" "your just like your mother and if I saw her on the side of the street on fire i wouldnt take the time to piss on her" These things hurt me so much I believed them true for so many years and i still battle with believing them. dad i remember once you punished me by refusing to tell me you loved me for over a month. This hurt me in so many ways. Honestly I feel like you couldnt truly love me cuz if you did you would nvr want a day to go by were I was not reassured of your love.  Another thing that I nvr said to you guys was hearing you talk about who was goin to the hospital with me when i tried to kill myself when i was 14. Do you guys remember that day. You would think the fight would be becuz both parents cared so much they wanted to be there, but no niether of you wanted to go and i remember clearly as the ambulance door shut mom you said "its your kid you go" not only did you not claim me as your own but you refered to me as it. Like i was a dog needing to be taken to the vet. I still to this day honestly think that if i could have been admitted without eiter of you going then you both would have staid home. Also lets go to something more reacent. In dec I really wanted to come home for christmas and you wouldnt even let me make a cot on the floor so i could do that. So instead of being home for the holidays I spent them completely alone.  You have hurt me so much over the years that i dont see how i could ever recover

Day 2 — Your Crush

Dear Brandon,
   You are not just my crush you are my boyfriend. I am so glad to have you in my life. You know just how to make me smile after a bad day. You always support me in my decisions and honestly you are the only person who has ever done so. thank you for that,

Day 1 — Your Best Friend

Dear Clinton,

You have been one of my best friends for almost 9 years now. I have known I could turn to you no matter what is going on. Thank you for that. Do you remember the day we met lol. We thought a math test would be the hardest thing we ever did. When i would be freaking you would talk me down lol. You are still that person. I remember when we were living in lawton and the gas was shut off. We were sleepin in the livinroom with a space heater. I was worryin about everything in life, You wispered though the dark "we are gonna be ok Rhonda, you have always been a fighter and always end up on top just keep tryin to get back up and nothing can keep you down" You have been everything for me at times. I would have died years ago had you not saved me. I will always be thankfull for you and will always do any and everything i can to help you.

im gonna give this a try

30 Day Letter Challenge.

• Day 1 — Your Best Friend
• Day 2 — Your Crush
• Day 3 — Your parents
• Day 4 — Your sibling (or closest relative)
• Day 5 — Your dreams
• Day 6 — A stranger
• Day 7 — Your Ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush
• Day 8 — Your favorite internet friend
• Day 9 — Someone you wish you could meet
• Day 10 — Someone you don’t talk to as much as you’d like to
• Day 11 — A Deceased person you wish you could talk to
• Day 12 — The person you hate most/caused you a lot of pain
• Day 13 — Someone you wish could forgive you
• Day 14 — Someone you’ve drifted away from
• Day 15 — The person you miss the most
• Day 16 — Someone that’s not in your state/country
• Day 17 — Someone from your childhood
• Day 18 — The person that you wish you could be
• Day 19 — Someone that pesters your mind—good or bad
• Day 20 — The one that broke your heart the hardest
• Day 21 — Someone you judged by their first impression
• Day 22 — Someone you want to give a second chance to
• Day 23 — The last person you kissed
• Day 24 — The person that gave you your favorite memory
• Day 25 — The person you know that is going through the worst of times
• Day 26 — The last person you made a pinky promise to
• Day 27 — The friendliest person you knew for only one day
• Day 28 — Someone that changed your life
• Day 29 — The person that you want tell everything to, but too afraid to
• Day 30 — Your reflection in the mirror

One ugly lil word in the life of an army girlfriend

There is one word that can strike fear into to heart of anyone who loves a soldier. Deployment. This word seems to trying to but into mine and Brandon's life. Rumors are flying that they will be deploying march 2012. While this is not fact yet it still has me wonderin and worrying. I know all I can do is keep my head up and carry on. Enjoy every min with him and take every moment in. Because these will be the memories that keep me warm on the cold nights that he is gone. I will stand tall and take it all. He is tryin to do everything he can to start preparing me for the day that it does happen. With 3 years left in his contract we are bound to have to live though at least one deployment.

so yea

well my lil road trip was a blast.

this is me and vero goofin off on the drive lol.

we stopped in ft worth at joes crab shack for dinner it was to die for and we had the best waiter ever he was to funny.

I thought this was funny sat morning sarah david and i all sittin at the table with coffee and laptops lol

my lovely lovely hosts. I just love this couple they are two of the most amazing ppl I am blessed to know. This was when we went to medicine park sunday.

Playin this cool lil game at the park on post!!!!

this is my fav pic of the whole weekend!!!! David took it with his phone and it came out better then all mine with my cam.

What have you been you to Rhonda???

Well I have been a busy gurl. Been busy takin care of the apartment and work. Also getting ready for a trip to OK for the weekend. My friend Veronica happens to be drivin though lawton so she is gonna drop me there to see some old friends. I'm excited to see all the ppl I have not seen since dec. I plan to take pix galore. I think its time I introduce yall to my boyfriend meet brandon.

We enjoy as much time together as we can. We are hoping to take our first road trip together next month. Plans are to drive from here to new york. Thats assuming the army grants him leave. If we do this we will be seeing his family up there and mine in arkansas on the way. here are some pics of what I fill my freetime with these days. 



friday night beerpong.

fishing at blora or stillhouse

exploring and seeing the sights of FT HOOD the biggest military base

bbqs with good friends and good food

swimming and tanning by this lovely pool.

ummm

So today has been an uneventful day. Alex and I hung out till her hubby got off work. We stole josh and jess' nitro for the day and let me just say after driving it I love love love it. Other then that I have enjoyed reading my book and got really lost in my bible study for 4 hours!!!! Now Im thinking I may go jump in the pool just to cool off cuz in case you did not know TX is hot as heck.

life

Life is always changing you may think today you know where you will be in one year but really you don't. You may not even be in the same area code or same area code of the ones you love for that matter. I will openly admit I made my fair share of mistakes over the last year, but we all do. Things got hard, but in it all I found out new things about myself. When we decided we didn't want to work things out I left not just the house not just the town but the state. I learned what it meant to be on my own. I worked long hours for min wage plus tips to barely be able to eat and pay my bills. I made new friends and lost some. But though it all I SURVIVED sometimes on lil more then peanut butter and prayer but I did it. I know some of you who read this were/are disappointed in decisions I made and I would say I am sorry but to do so would be to lie. Yes I made some childish decisions in life but they taught me lessons I personally needed to learn. I grew more as a person in this last year then all 21 before it. I now live in Killeen Tx where i work selling cosmetics at the mall. I am living my own life decided where I go and what I do for myself. Im just hoping you all can refrain for bringing me down as i face this new chapter in my life.